As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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