i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
