she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
