i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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