I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
