no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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