Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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