Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
