do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's never too late to be topless.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
