3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
