Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
