Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
