In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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