I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
