anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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