My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
