he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
