my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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