Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
