Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Boobs are out for the taking
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
