The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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