I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
