We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
