I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
