I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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