my mouth tastes like poor choices
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
