I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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