That's when you crack a 10am beer
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
