Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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