last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
