The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
