I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
