He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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