Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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