yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
