I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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