Your mouth is God's brothel.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
