I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
