You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
