Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
