If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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