should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
