I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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