My brain says no but my pants say off.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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