Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
