Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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