Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
