you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
