doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
