there was a trapeze. enough said
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
