So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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