he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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