Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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