Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
handjob tips. give me some.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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