haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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