My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize