Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
