I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
